k2Final Draft, Inc. Final Draft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ship - EVENING (Ian, Xerc, Paula, Jorge, Kay, Receptionist, Secretary, Labelle) The band is eating chinese-style food. Ian is reading a rolling Stone-style magazine, the others are going through mail. Ian Look at this. Xerc Whats up? IAN Theres a whole page devoted to Johnny Alpha. XERC The guy from the Clones? PAULA (mouth full) A uf e a wan wuf en. IAN Yeah! I mean...why dont they just let him fade away in peace? JORGE Hey, Send In The Clones is a great album. PAUla (mouth full) A uf e a wan wuf en! IAN ...I mean the band had ONE successful album, and six years later, they still waste space in MAJOR magazines on this... GUY... in the studio, toiling away at the indefinitely forthcoming follow-up, when they COULD be writing articles about up-and-coming acts. Xerc Like us? IAN ...like US! Were so much more talented than that overrated goon. 0002000004E60000036F4E0,PAULA (mouth full) A uf e a wan wuf en!! XERC That magazines just a hype-rag anyway. Even the articles are just ads. IAN Yeah, I mean who falls for this crap? Are teenagers really that dumb? (Gesticulates with magazine) THIS dumb??? JORGE Still...Send In The Clones is a great album. IAN (sighs) Yeah. Maybe Im just jealous. PAULA (pauses, finger raised, chews and swallows) Ahem!... I was in a band with him. XERC WHAAAAAAAAT?!? Youre pooging with us! PAULA No, really. Before he was a Big Star, Johnny Alpha was John Alphonzo, singer/songwriter for Plywood Squadron, of which I was also a member. We were pretty successful in the whole Ortooma scene for a while. IAN You? And Johnny Alpha?!?! Why didnt you ever tell us this before? PAULA Well....the whole thing ended on a bad note. I mean he was always egotistical and self-involved, but as soon as we started getting some major-label interest, some big-shot producer convinced Johnny that HE was the big star of the band. Next thing you know, hes not returning our calls, then we find out from MunuPob, of all places, that he had cloned himself a band, and was working on a solo album. I guess he realized that the only person whom could he could tolerate to work with was himself. 0002000005110000084F50B,Pause IAN So you havent talked to him since? PAULA Nope. XerC So like...youre an ex-member of what eventually became The Clones. Its like youre in The Clones. You should be able to get some media attention with that. PaulA Well, I dont JOrGE At least use that as an in. Get your proverbial foot in the metaphorical door. Kay enters PAULA I dont think that.. XerC Hey, Kay...did you know Paula used to be in The Clones? Kay I thought the Clones were all Clones? JORGE She was in a band that became the Clones. KAY You were cloned? IAn (Jealous) No, look: She used to be in a band with Johnny Alpha, a few years ago, before he got huge. XeRC You should call InterEnter and see if theyll sign us! Paula What?! Youre delusional. IAN Well, it COULD turn out to be our big break. Paula rolls her eyes xerC DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! ian Its worth a shot. PAULA (picking up phone and dialing) OK, FINE! Just so you guys can see that getting the attention of a major label isnt that easy. It takes years of making a name for yourself, just to get to talk to one of their A&R guys and even then... Cut to: InT. inTERENTER OFFICES PaULA Hi, my name is Paula. I have an appointment to see Mr. LaBelle. SecRETARY (Points to band) Who are they? PAULA They? Oh. This is my band. SECRETARY 0002000004B800000D5A4B2,Go on in. Mr. LaBelle will be in in a minute. INSERT SOME WITTY WAITING-FOR-LABELLE DIALOGUE HERE Labelle enters with his lawyer/assistant/henchman, varone LABELLE Varone, there are people in my office! PAULA Hi, Mr. LaBelle, my names Paula. I talked to your secretary... VarONE The Johnny Alpha thing, sir. LABELLE (siting) You were in a band with our Johnny? PAULA Yes. Sir. But he was Juan Alphonso at the time. LABELLE How close were you two? How did you part ways? Was it...amicable? PAULA Well, it was a bit heated at the time, I mean we were all annoyed at him. But Id say it was ...amicable. LABELLE Hrm. Good. Varone? Fill them in. VaroNE (opening folder) Just about four years ago, Johnny Alpha went into the studio to record the follow up to Send In The Clones. After several weeks without any progress, he asked to be moved to a different studio facility, one a little more rural. Two months went by. Not a word. Nothing recorded. When pressed, he produced some demo recordings, but admitted to feeling surrounded, and asked to be moved again. This pattern continued until he settled into his current location, the ancient Toopan monastery on Serm VI, just outside of the galactic rim. 0002000003180000120C312,Gasps (serm VI is far) VARONE (CONTD) Days after his arrival, we lost contact. This is the last recording we received from the monastery: Varone clicks a button, a low-grade recording can be heard Alpha (singing in a warbly tone) My dog has..... A din erupts, a mess of several instruments and sounds. It continues for several minutes. Varone fast forwards, it continues, he fast forwards again. He Stops the tape. VARONE It came wrapped in this: He holds up a piece of newspaper that has fleas by the clones written on it in crayon, with a childlike drawing of a flea, and a sun with a happy-face in the sky. xerC Woah. VARONE Indeed. LaBELLE Sounds like Johnnys lost a sock, if you know what Im saying. VARONE We want you to go there. Find Johnny, and...take care of him. Ian 0002000002370000151E231,You want us to KILL him?!? LABELLE What are you, an idiot? Do you know how much we have riding on this goofball? Why do you think we didnt just call the police and have him hauled in for loitering on our dime? Weve laid out a lot of advance money for this album to turn out right, and we still need it to happen. VARONE Mister LaBelle is hoping that YOU can get to Johnny, and convince him to get back to work. Get his creative juices flowing. He wont listen to us. (looks at Paula) But he knows YOU. Hell trust YOU. paul Listen, Mr. LaBelle, I dont.. 00020000014A0000174F144,VarONE Well pay you twenty thousand Heem. paula Well, thats... VARONE Each. paula opens her mouth, as if to speak. Then stops, contemplates. Cut to: ExT. sPACESHIP Ship goes speeding towards a planet, identified by text at the bottom of the screen as serm VI. Cut to: Ext. BOAT-day (Paula, Skipper, Kay, Ball, Xerc, Ian) 00020000057B00001893575,The gang is now decked out in life vests xerc is leaned over the side, as if hes seasick, but then he comes up with a strange alien fish in his mouth. Paula is talking to the boat skipper. Paula Were going to the Toopan monastery. Do you know where that is? Do you take a lot of people there? Skipper HAHA. No. No Body. HHAHAHA! Paula Well...Were going up to see a friend of ours. Do you know who Johnny Alpha is? SKIPPER ALPHA! HAHAHAHA! (nodding) NO! AHAHA! PAULA Umm...Ok. Im going to sit back with my friends. Thanks. SKIPPER HA! HAHAHAHAHAHA! (Begins to sing) She walks back to the gang PAULA OK, nobody talk to the skipper. SkIPPER (off-screen)OK! HAHAHAHAH! SKIPPER Monastery! XeRC Whos that? BALL Hey! You guys are here for the Alpha, I bet, right? Alpha? Bet? Right? Im Ball. Hello! Hey! The gang gets off the boat Ian Hi, uhh...Ball. Im Ian, this is... BALL No, dont...dont TELL, man. Dont SAY. Dont say who you are if you dont KNOW. And you dont, man! The only one who knows anything here is the ALPHA, man! The ALPHAMAN! And he... Ball gets attacked by a tiger-like alien beast The gang walks into the studio Cut to: INT. STUDIO (Alpha, Studio Native, Paula) Johnny alpha has a beard and long hair. He is wearing headphones and repeatedly hitting a big marching band drum with a trombone, as a droning mess of music plays in the background. After several hits, he stops. 00020000034C00001E08346,We see two natives in the recording booth. ALPHA OK! Cut it. That was a good one. Studio native Ommblaka! Cha-Koom. Alpha What? To see ME? Who? Paula Hi, John. Long time, no see. Alpha drops the trombone, startled. Cut to: INT. alphas room (Alpha, Jorge, Paula, Ian, Xerc) The gang and alpha is sitting and drinking tea AlPHA ...so there was even more pressure to produce, so Ive decided to do the least commercial stuff I can come up with. You know, kind of a Poog-you! to the suits. Jorge Neat. The others glare at him ALPHA So. What brings you here? PaULA Ha. Thats funny. That you asked that. Because WE were actually asked by Mr. LaBelle to... ALPHA Oh, no. THEY sent you? Sent you to fetch me? PAULA Not to fetch, no! To help! ALPHA You can help me by going back there and telling InterEnter that....that...that Im washed up. 0002000003130000214E30D,Ian What? ALPHA Ive got nothing. Im a failure. I cant come up with anything good. Thats really why Im doing the noise projects and hiding here. I have not a single creative musical spark left in my hollow shell. PauLA Woah. What happened? ALPHA The pressure to produce. The lack of anybody creative to feed off of. Its a nightmare. You guys have it so great. (to native) Mortok? Can I have another one of these? (pointing to tropical drink) Thanks. You really do. XERC How so? IAN Yeah, I mean were struggling to achieve some semblance of what you have. And you think WE have it good? ALPHA Of course! You only have yourselves to answer to. Youre out there working for yourselves! And you have each other! PaulA John, you HAD a band. Several bands. And you fired them all. 00020000037F0000245B379,ALPHA Yeah, but we never had the chemistry...the connection that you guys seem to have. Im sure you guys get into the studio and the stuff just flows, right? Jorge Kinda. ALPHA See? THATs what Im talking about. Do you record? Ian Yeah, thats actually part of the deal with LaBelle. We fet...HELP you out, and he puts out our album. XerC You want to hear it? ALPHA Sure! Id love to hear it. They put the album on ALPHA (CONTD) Yes! Yes! The energy! The honesty! This... This... (looks at the gang) Friends, you can go back to InterEnter and tell them Mission Accomplished! This wonderful collection of songs youve assembled has reminded me what I loved about music in the first place. Paula Really? So youre going to do the new album? ALPHA As soon as I see you floks off, Im going straight into the studio to listen to your album again, and see where it gets me. I am INSPIRED! 000200000339000027D4333,JorGE Wow, thats great! ALPHA And Im going to make sure that LaBelle gives your composition the utmost attention. I cant thank you enough. Especially you, Paula. Thanks for coming to my rescue. PAULA (blushing) Hehe. Cut to: INT. Interenter offices (Varone, Labelle, Paula, Ian) The gang is back in labelles office Varone Mister LaBelle is quite pleased with your success in your mission to rescue Johnny Alpha. LaBELLE Quite pleased, quite pleased. VARONE The tracks weve received from him are pure gold. PaULA So, youll put out our album? VaRONE Of course Mr. Labelle is willing to uphold his end of the bargain. Do you have the album with you? PaulA Sure. Yeah! Kay? Kay produces a copy of the album VARONE Just leave it on the desk. Mr. LaBelle will listen to it and decide which division can best handle it. 00020000053200002B0752C,Ian Wow, thats great thanks! Cut to: INT. spACESHIP (Xerc, Ian, Paula, Varone, Labelle, Kay, Jorge) The gang is giddy with excitement XeRC Oh, man this is it! Ian Yeah, see what we meant about a foot in the door, Paula? PAULA Yeah, I guess it worked out pretty well. Phone rings. Its labelle. PaulA (CONTD) Hi, Mr. LaBelle, whats up? Did you listen to the album? VarONE Mr. LaBelle does not like to be toyed with. Hes a busy man. PAULA What? LABELLE Im a busy man, Irene. And out of sheer generosity I agree to put out your album, and you give me a disc full of Johnny Alphas tracks?! PaULA WHAT? Kay, did you give him the right disc? Kay Of course! Ian Theres got to be some mistake! VaRONE Mister LaBelle believes the mistake is yours, for blatantly plagiarizing the tracks you inspired Johnny Alpha to record, and trying to pass it off as an album of your own! What kind of a fool do you take him for? LABELLE What kind of fool, Irene? PAULA But...but? VARONE Please consider any agreements between us null and void at this point. Good-bye. JORGE AHHHHH!H!H! PAULA No!No! NO! XERC THAT JERK STOLE OUR ALBUM! Ian NICE FRIENDS, PAULA! Paula Me? YOU told me to call the major label guys! I was happy! Cut to: Ext. SpaCESHIP . The gang can be heard shouting at each other as the ship flies into the distance. 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