C2Final Draft, Inc. Final Draftg FFFF000000060002000177AA000000000077000000002000110000001-77FF67000480048-24FB59200C6-101150640064714B59278FFFF01030808000010000018E000000060500408404F801872304F903CE00016F80187AA0500A0340840187802B32304EF03CC0002A7802B31050A03F13408402B3804DD2304DD03CE0014C5804DD1DE0F13167C408404DD807C722B73803CC0027BB807C71D00167C1B66408407C7809FD22B4CE03CC0039F1809FD13D01B6620C0408409FD80B5922B546038C003B4D80B5910C000020000050600000000500,INt-BEDROOM:day Overhead shot of a bed, the purple silk sheets are tousled, there is a WIZARD, in his thirties or forties, lingering near the end of his nights sleep. It appears that at the beginning of said nights sleep there was also a woman in the bed. Gradually, the man wakes. He walks through the lavish house, puts on a pot of coffee, walks out onto the balcony, and looks around. There are wrecked, abandoned cars in the parking lot of a laundromat that sports a faded sign in two languages. A VAGRANT is urinating with aplomb. WIZARD goes back inside, presses the blinking answering machine button, and opens the cabinets to look for a mug. The video screen comes to life and the image of the wizard gives the outgoing salutation, followed the customary beep. A womans image starts to relate, struggling through tears, that shes leaving, this time for good, to New York. As WIZARD frantically searches for a mug, he slowly realizes the intent of the answering machine message thats currently playing, and that it directly relates to why he cant find a mug. He begins cursing her name. He runs around the house, taking quick inventory of everything missing. When he realizes that his magic wand is amongst these missing items, the level of cursing escalates. CUT TO 00020000050900000500503,Int-bar:day WIZARD is still cursing as we see the arm of BARTENDER filling his glass, for what appears not to be the first time this sitting. WIZARD is complaining about the girl who has recently left. He reveals, in his complaints, that she took his wand, which focuses his magical abilities, and without it hes close to useless. He has no money, because he never needed it, and now hes stuck without any way to provide for himself. In response to BARTENDERs queries about replacing the wand, we learn that wands are hard to come by and they bond, or conform to the user. Around this time, RICHIE moves upcamera from his booth by the back wall of the bar, and comes up next to WIZARD. He tells him, in a conspiratorial, drunkard type of way, about Robot Assisted Moving (RoBoats?), a U-Haul type of service, where robots drive you and your belongings on long distances for free, in exchange for the opportunity to study the human condition for extended periods of time. WIZARD gets excited, and exclaims hes going to go over there right now. Bartender reminds him that its late, and encourages him to wait until morning. WIZARD then declares that first thing in the morning hes going to go down there, get a robot to take him cross-country and get his god-damn wand back. 00020000051600000A03510,INT-ROBOT ASSISTED MOVING AGENCY: LATE AFTERNOON WIZARD is pounding on the door, begging to be allowed in. AGENT apologizes, tells WIZARD that they close at 5. WIZARD begs to be let in again, relating part of his story, but AGENT refuses. He walks away, kicking rocks and putting on a public display of frustration. He runs into VAGRANT, who asks him for some kind of hand-out, to which WIZARD relates his situation. VAGRANT commiserates, and they decide to go to bar. INT-BAR WIZARD is drinking again, mirrors the previous night. Now Wizard is complaining about agency, as well as GIRL. WIZARD announces that first thing in the morning, hes going down to the better business bureau to file a complaint. WIZARD then trips and falls. INT-WIZARDS HOUSE: NEXT AFTERNOON WIZARD jarred from sleep by the doorbell. ROBOT is at the door, and he wants to take WIZARDs case. He believes that WIZARD is ready to drop everything and trek cross-country for the love of a girl. WIZARD realizes that ROBOT is willing to help him only because this is the case, and continues the ruse. After a brief initial interview, they depart. WIZARD packs a bag of a few magic items and some booze into a duffel bag. They put the bag into the back of the moving truck. (a few moments must pass here with the doors open) 00020000076F00000F13769,EXT-AMERICA As the two make their way across the country, the WIZARD relates several anecdotes from his time with GIRL. A flashback montage introduces us to GIRL for the first time, Love music starts to swell and montage grows sappy, when suddenly, abruptly, it is cut off. WIZARD shakes his head, as if fighting off feelings. EXT-GAS STATION/CONVENIENCE STORE: DAY They stop for supplies. WIZARD sneaks snacks on to the tab, which is being put on ROBOTs corporate charge account. They get back to the truck, and find it open. Further investigation reveals that WIZARDs bag is missing. Amidst much cursing, they move on. EXT-AMERICA More girl talk. EXT-HEARTLAND: DAY Pirates attack. Classic Caribbean pirates with a touch of post-apocalyptic Mad Max style. Pirates force WIZARD and ROBOT off the road, then pull them out of the truck, and make them open the back. When the back proves to be empty, the pirates become angry, and threaten to kill WIZARD. At this point, VAGRANT begins vomiting, and thus is revealed as having been asleep in the back of the truck, wearing WIZARDs cloak of invisibility (and drinking his booze). This confusion (invisible man vomiting) allows for WIZARD to break free of the pirates, and hop into the drivers seat. He starts to flee, but has a change of heart and doubles back to rescue ROBOT. This he does by driving straight at the group of pirates who are holding ROBOT, causing them to flee as the van runs over ROBOT, who escapes unharmed.[] EXT-NIAGARA FALLS?- NIGHT In a scene that mirrors the balcony bit from the beginning, WIZARD steps out onto a viewing platform at a dam or waterfall, or some such. He stares in disbelief at the massive scale of it. As WIZARD relives more of his experiences for ROBOT, he slowly realizes that he misses GIRL, and not just his wand, so that by the time they arrive in New York, hes grown quite fond of her again. 0002000004F00000167C4EA,EXT-NEW YORK: Girls Apartment WIZARD acts social at first. Introduces ROBOT and GIRL. GIRL offers coffee, and goes into kitchen to make it. WIZARD uses this opportunity to rummage through GIRLs stuff, to ROBOTs hushed protests, until he finds his wand. He grabs it and creates a portal back to his house. He departs, leaving ROBOT and GIRL in her apartment. Girl : (Throwing coffee mug) Shit. MONTAGE: Several days of hedonism, as WIZARD celebrates the return of his powers. Naked girls, Banquets, jewels, etc. But as each scene passes, WIZARD looks more and more bored, until he walks out from an orgy that continues without him, and out onto the balcony. He surveys the area, seeing the wrecked cars and the laundromat, and sighs. EXT-NEW YORK: NIGHT WIZARD emerges from another portal, and returns to outside GIRLs apartment. He practices several different versions of his end of the conversation hes about to have, and finally breaks down and rings her bell. ROBOT answers in bathrobe. WIZARD is visibly stunned. He brushes past ROBOT, demanding answers from GIRL. GIRL explains that ROBOT has been very supportive, and very attuned to her needs. WIZARD accuses ROBOT of using him to get to GIRL, and challenges him to a fight, outside, right then. 00020000056000001B6655A,Outside, WIZARD and ROBOT circle each other. WIZARD is spouting taunts. ROBOT is dodging taunts and punches. WIZARD hits ROBOT, severely hurting his hand. ROBOT reassures him that GIRL is really in love with WIZARD. WIZARD again taunts ROBOT, who then punches him, to calm him down. WIZARD drops, blood spewing from his nose. ROBOT grabs him, trying to explain that the only reason that GIRL likes him is because his whole concept of love is what WIZARD has told him on the trip. WIZARD reminds ROBOT that ROBOT is also in love with GIRL. ROBOT looks up for a beat, then declares that he no longer is. WIZARD wishes he could do that. ROBOT picks up WIZARD off the ground. GIRL opens door, gasps to find ROBOT holding WIZARD, dirty and bleeding, who then declares that he and ROBOT have decided that ROBOT doesnt love her anymore, and asks to be let in. Door slams. Ringing, shouting. Cut to inside GIRLs apartment, where they are conversing, after obviously being let in. GIRL realizes that she loved ROBOT because his entire frame of reference when dealing with girls was completely based on WIZARD. (GIRL says something, both ROBOT and WIZARD turn it into an embarrassing, flirtatious compliment, she laughs despite herself.) ROBOT explains his self-altered programming. The three of them decide to give WIZARD and GIRL another chance. 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