sT2Final Draft, Inc. Final Draft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pace Beatles Thingy #2 Act One InT. spaceshihp (Ian, Xerc, Paula, Kay, Jorge) The gang is listening to and complaining about johnny alphas new album, which is entirely composed of songs they wrote. Ian I cant BELIEVE that guy ripped us off, note-for-note. NOTE FOR NOTE! Xerc Lagoon, Do You Know Me, Pucker Up....theyre all here. Paula That SHOEBOX! Kay and jorge enter Kay Well, I just got off the phone with our lawyer, and it seems we dont have much of a case. Xerc But...but he stole it directly! Ian (in bg) NOTE FOR NOTE! KAY Unfortunately, since he released the album first, it becomes our word against his. JORGE And our lawyer against his. His and InterEnters. Ian So thats it? XeRC Were pooged? Kay He said hed call us back if there were any new developments. Paula Which are pretty unlikely. Ian So what are our options? 00020000030C0000034F306,Kay Well, we can get some good lawyers..... Jorge ...or find some way to prove that we recorded the album first. All hmmm..., pause to think Xerc Wait a minute...what would be a better way to prove that we recorded it first than beating him at his own game, and RELEASING it first?! PaulA Uhh...Xerc? Youre holding a copy. Its BEEN released. XERC Yeah. But it would be awesome if we could, wouldnt it? Like go back in time or something? Jorge Hmm...Yknow, time travel is theoretically possible. The ancient Zibronans used to... PAULA Ok,... guys? Were talking reality here. Anybody whos travelled through time, raise their hand. Nobody does Paula (CONTD) See? XeRC Ok, OK...now: Everybody thats hired an expensive team of lawyers, raise their hand. Again, nobody 00020000035A00000655354,XerC (CONTD) Ah-HA! So its even. PaULA I cant believe you guys want to sit here and seriously discuss time travel as a solution to our problems! A: Its impossible. And...and B: Dont you guys watch movies? Time travel always CAUSES more problems than it SOLVES. IAN I think if we look at it from a different perspective... PAULA Like? IAN Kay, how much would it cost to hire enough lawyers to successfully argue our case. Kay At least several thousand Heem. IAN Ok, now how much would it cost to slingshot around the nearest sun, travel back in time, and set things right? KAY Gas and tolls. Xerc I rest my case. PAULA Thats rediculous! Ian Is it, Paula? Is it? Jorge To be fair, I think we should put it to a vote. PaULA OK, all in favor of the sane, rational method of working within the legal system to resolve or grievances, raise your hand. 0002000003AB000009A93A5,Only paula raises her hand PaULA (CONTD) (defeated) sigh...and everyone for this half-baked time travel nonsense. Everybody else raises their hand. Xerc raises two. PaULA (CONTD) OK, FINE! But when we explode into our basic particles, which are then scattered across this end of the galaxy at speeds approaching that of light, expect to hear I told you so! Cut to: InT. spaCESHIHP: Later that day (Ian, Xerc, Kay, Jorge, Paula) All are buckled into harnesses in the cockpit. Ian OK, fuel levels? XerC Check! IAN Life support diagnostics? KAY Check! IAN Jorge, have you figured out our best course? JoRGE Yeah, I figured since a year is defined as one orbit around the sun...as we approach the speed of light, Ill activate the emergency boosters. That should propel us past the speed of light for about one rotation. A year should give us enough time to get the album released before we agree to help Johnny, and he rips us off. 00020000034200000D4E33C,Ian Sound logic. JORGE Thanks. Paula sighs audibly Paula Why dont we just stop ourselves from helping Johnny in the first place? XERC Duh! Because if future us saw our past selves in the past, wed explode! Ian Cmon, Paula. Get with it. Ok, everybody ready? All agree Ian (CONTD) Ok, here we go! Ian turns over his shoulder, puts the ship into reverse. A backup siren sounds. Exterior shot of the ship flying backwards towards the sun. PaulA Wait, what are you doing? IaN Uhhh...havent you been paying attention? Were going to slingshot around this sun, travel through time, and release an album. PaULA WHY ARE YOU IN REVERSE? IAN Because were going BACK in time, perhaps? If we travelled through time forwards, wed end up a year FROM now, which is exactly the opposite of what we want. So we go backwards. Through time. 0002000003460000108A340,JorGE (off-camera)Sound logic! IAN Thanks. Kay Ok, now approaching the sun! Xerc Wooooo! Here we go! Express elevator to last year! Paula puts her head down PAULA Were gonna die! Cut to: EXT. spaceSHIHP Exterior shot as ship backs around the sun, gaining speed. This causes a doppler effect on the reverse siren. It goes behind the sun, rapidly comes out from behind the other side Cut to: INT. sPACESHIHP (Kay, Ian) Kay POINT 7 LIGHT SPEED! POINT 8! POINT NINE! POINT NINE FIVE! Ian HIT IT, JORGE! JORGE opens a panel, hits a red button. The ship is engulfed in a bright light. Brief sequence, ref: 2001. Cut to: EXT. sPACESHIHP IN A BURST OF ENERGY, THE SHIP EMERGES (IN REVERSE) FROM THE FAR SIDE OF THE SUN. Doppler again. Cut to: INT. sPACESHIHP (Xerc, Paula, Ian, Jorge, Kay) All check themselves for signs of disintegration 00020000038A000013CA384,XerC We made it? Woo-Hoo! We made it! PaULA Were still alive! Ian Still alive, and as I believe Jorge is about to tell us, one year in the past. Jorge? JoRGE Oh. Oh boy. Oh boy oh boy. PAULA Let me guess: Not in the past? JORGE Well, nope...We ARE in the past...But it seems my calculations were a bit off. Xerc Whatd we do, six? Eight months? JORGE Well, according to this....One hundred twelve years, four months and sixteen days. All are alarmed Ian Are you telling me that we ACCIDENTLY overshot it by OVER A CENTURY?! JORGE Yep. Looks like it. Sorry. Never done time travel before. Now I know. PaulA Leave it to you guys. KAY How does this affect the plan? Ian Well, obviously, we have to go back. XerC Back to when? Ian Back to exactly when we came from, exactly the same way we came. We have to do everything exactly the same, except backwards, otherwise we might end up in some other time. 00020000031F0000174E319,JoRGE We ARE in some other time. Ian Yes, well. We go back and try again. PauLA Now wait a minute. Im not going to go trial-and-error hopping through spacetime. We did it once, lets do what we came here for, and go home. XERC But were a hundred years in the past! JoRGE One hundred tewlve. PAULA So? Even better! We find a label in this time thatll release the album, and for the next hundred and twelve years, we collect royalties. Ian We could be rich! PAULA Exactly. Ian So lets get to it! PaULA Kay, can you generate a list all the major labels of this era? KAY Sure thing. PAULA Now we just start calling and dropping off the demo. Just like in our own time. XERC Yeah, but weve got music from the future now! Everybodys gonna want us! Fade to: INT. sPACESHIHP: Several days later 00020000031200001A6730C,XERC NOBODY wants us! JoRGE Weve just got to be persistent. XERC By the time we find somebody to put out this album, Ill have been BORN! PaULA Wait a minute...heres something. Ian What do you got? PAULA Says here theres a guy named Beacon. he runs a record label on Patella IV. It looks kinda small, but he says somebody gave him our album, and he loved it. He wants to put it out. Ian Kinda small? You think hes worth a shot? JorGE Well, as long as the album gets released, our mission is accomplished. We can have legal proof that Johnny didnt write those songs. Xerc Yeah, but I really liked this music of the future...royalties plus time equals vast riches plan. Kay Even a small amount derived from royalties will build up a significant return over a century. XERC 00020000033900001D73333,Yeah, OK. Lets meet with him. Cut to: INT. office (Beacon, Ian, Jorge, Xerc, Paula) There is a haze of smoke in the office tattered blacklight posters cover holes in imitation wood paneling. Beacon sits behind a cluttered desk made of a door sitting on milk-crates. His assistant, sparky, is shuffling about with papers Beacon So dudes, I like totally loved your album. This is like NOTHING thats out there right now. I dont even know how to classify it. What would you call it? Its kinda like new-wave, but that doesnt do it justice. Ian Its kinda POST-new-wave JoRGE POST-post new wave BeaCON Right on. XERC POST-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-new-wave BEACON Uh...Yeah, well. It rocks. So if you guys are down, I wanna put this one out. PaULA 00020000045B000020A6455,Well, thats why were here. IaN Beacon, let me ask you: What kind of compensation are we talking here? BEACON Well, Dude....Ill be honest. Money is a little tight right now, so I cant really give you much of an advance. Or any advance really. But, dudes, trust me. This is REALLY going to catch on. Sparkys roommate is a DJ at XLBA thursday mornings, we can put it right into rotation next week. PauLA Ok, well, were going...away...for a while, can we ask you to hang on to our share of whatever sales we get? It may be...a while. BEACON Absolutely! No problemo! XERC Can we get that in writing? BEACON What are you guys, cops or something? PAULA Actually, Beacon, were from one hundred years in the future, and we need to put this album out now to prevent one of the best selling artists of OUR time from stealing it from us. BeaCON Heh, heh. Whatever. They sign a contract Cut to: INT. sPACESHIHP (Jorge, Xerc, Paula, Ian) The gang is all strapped in, as they were for the earlier time trip Jorge Well, that was an experience. XERC I dont think were gonna make ONE HEEM from that rinky-dink label. 000200000331000024FB32B,PAULA Remember, Xerc. As long as we prevent Johnny Alpha from stealing it....um...having stolen it...going to have stolen...as long as we put out the album before Johnny, were in the clear. Ian Everybody buckled in? OK! Exact same procedure, but in forward gear this time. LETS GO! Cut to: EXT. The ship hurtles towards the sun, spins around it, and as it approaches the far side, a burst of energy whites out the screen. Fade back in to the ship coming around from behind. Cut to: INT. sPACESHIHP (Ian, Xerc, Jorge, Paula) Ian That was easy. XERC Yeah, but less fun knowing that it actually works, and we dont really run a high risk of disintegration. JORGE Readings indicate...we have arrived...one week before we left. Ian Great! Johnnys album hasnt come out yet! So now we look up Beacon, and get... 0002000003BA000028263B4,PaulA Uhh...Guys...Im pulling up some search results now. You should take a look at this. They all huddle around PAULA (CONTD) It seems our album became a huge underground hit. Beacon apparently used his part of the cash to sign a bunch of bands that sounded kinda like us, and he became known as the the king of post-post-new-wave. About 10 years after we left, Zubicom bought Beacon out entirely for -pheeeew- 40 Million Heem! Then Zubicom themselves got bought out by Treeg; and then about 20 years ago, Treegs parent company was part of the big merger that formed Intergalactic Entertainment! JorGE Wait, so were signed to InterEnter? PAULA Looks like it. XERC But were a huge hit, right? We spawned a whole genre of music? Ian Its been consistently in print since its debut. It was the first album to be released on NanoDisk....remember NanoDisk?....Number 8 on the top-selling albums of all time. Right behind.....Send In The Clones. 00020000032500002BDA31F,XERC We have got to be sitting on a TON of heem! That SO rocks! Lets go claim it so I finally fulfill my dream of owning an Olympic-Size bobsled track! Cut to: INT. INTERENTER OFFICES (Secretary, Paula) SECRETARY Yes, can I help you? Paula Hi. A long time ago, we released an album with a label that is now part of InterEnter, and they were holding our royalties for us. Can we check on that? secretary Do you have your ID card? PAULA Sure...here. She hands over her id, swipes the card through the machine, looks at her terminal, glares at Paula PAULA (CONTD) What? What does that mean? Is there a problem? secretary Well. This is the name that the account is under, and this appears to be the ID that the account was opened WITH. But Id say youre looking quite well for a lady of almost 140. 00020000066100002EF965B,PAULA Ha. Oh. Yeah. That. Well...You see...we had to travel through time yesterday. And while we were back in time, we opened the account. So it IS me, but I wasnt born yet when I opened the account, so....Is Mr. LaBelle in? We had a meeting with him before this all happened...Oh wait, thats next week... you see... Cut to: INT. spaCESHIHP (Ian, Xerc, Jorge, Paula, All) Ian I cant believe we lost the money. XeRC (wearing bobsled outfit) Again! Jorge (at computer terminal) Hey, more bad news. PaulA Great. We getting sued for using that ridiculous time-travel method without express written consent? JORGE Not quite. But it says that 100 years after we put the album out, with no contact from us, it fell into the public domain. XERC PUBLIC DOMAIN?! IAN So, wait...we not only didnt get paid, but we dont own the album anymore, either?! JORGE Yeah. Basically. XerC And if Andy Alpha wanted to release the album next week, he could? PaULA (looking over Jorges shoulder) Could...and IS! THAT RAT! IAN Wait, what?! PAULA ...industry experts say that Alphas latest release, a re-interpretation of the classic Hat Album, is exactly the come-back that he needs to follow up his seminal Meet The Clones.... ian I cant believe that guy!! XERC HE STOLE OUR ALBUM AGAIN! TWICE! JorGE I guess, technically we gave it to him twice. XerC LETS GO BACK IN TIME AGAIN! All NO! XERC What if we just get really close to the speed of light, and I take Alphas album and throw it back in time? IAN No. Cut to: EXT. spaceSHIHP Xerc continues coming up with schemes that get shot down, as ship flies off into the distance. THE 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