BOBOdHHHHHHdH` LZ-Pete(r)jFLOM!`%7xHH(Fl `/btH/H/0b`  ՜[^yDSETQpt(X++~Y   - . ~ J K a     m ] ^ w x       ^     ,                 0 1   3 e f u v $ % } ~ 7 0 1 J K $ 8         2`\ < Where Americas Day Begins Open on Black. We hear a phone ringing, most likely the digital ring of a multi-phone system. After second ring, cut to: INT. PIZZA HUT: DAY Roy has just picked up the phone. He is in his mid-twenties, wearing full Pizza Hut uniform. The bustle of pizza preparation can be seen behind him. ROY: Hello, Pizza Hut (Brief pause as other party introduces themselves) ROY: Oh, hey Dr. Silver; Howre my moms teeth? (Longer pause as DR. SILVER speaks) ROY: Really...Um...OK, Yeah, I guess; Hold on. Roy puts his hand over the receiver's microphone end, and shouts across the room: ROY (Shouting at first, then as GIL gets closer, slowly descends into normal volume speech. GIL is the manager. Button down shirt, tie, no visor.): HEY, GIL! My Moms dentist is on the phone, he wants me to come down there. Right away. GIL: Your moms dentist? ROY: (As GIL walks away again, getting gradually louder)Yeah, she went in for a toothache today, they probably need me to talk her into quietly accepting a Novocain shot or explain to her that a root canal is a valid process or something, I swear, All this new age Oprah shit has turned my mother loopy. GIL(Off Camera, SHOUTING): YEAH, SHES PRETTY CANTANKEROUS ROY(Not hearing, Shouting back): SHES WHAT? GIL(Off Camera, SHOUTING): CANTANKEROUS! I SAID SHES CANTANKEROUS! Roy looks annoyed, still cant make out what GIL is saying... CUT TO: INT. DENTISTS OFFICE: DAY Close on Roy, keeping him in the same framing as previous shot, still in Pizza Hut garb. ROY: Shes WHAT? CUT TO: DR. SILVER, Leaning against the front of his desk, arms gesticulating nervously. SILVER: Shes dead. You see, there was this....IS this new bonding agent.... ROY: My Mother...was accidently killed....by her dentist. SILVER (mousily): No, not by her DENTIST, you see, by a REACTION to this new BONDING AGENT....UNPREDICTABLE, really, that someone... ROY (Disbelief) : And now....shes dead. SILVER: Well, yes, you see...Um, perhaps Mr. Morris can better explain the...uhh...you,...they thought it wold be best if I broke the...news to you, but Mr. Morris can...better...explain what....Mr. Morris. Mr Morris is slick, PR type of guy, lawyers in tow, very fake friendly. MORRIS: Royyy. (BEAT) We at Grant Stack Pharmacueticals are deeply, DEEPLY sorry for your loss. We take every step possible to prevent this type of thing from ever occurring. But even the best safeguards cant catch everything. Surely you can understand that. ROY: Bonding agent? MORRIS: Thats right, Roy. Now in this litigious society that we live in today, ones first instinct, one in your delicate situation,that is, might be to take legal recourse, seek compensation through judicial means. Well, the last thing you need at a time like this, in addition to whatever memorial expenses you might be facing, is the hassle of legal proceedings. Our policy, in situations like these, is to circumvent such...un-necessary rigamarole by being forthright and responsible with....  ROY: Allergic reaction....to a BONDING AGENT?? MORRIS: Mr. Doyle, Im prepared to offer you a monetary bereavement compensation. I hope you find (extends check) this offer acceptable.... Roy, dazed, looks at the check, unfazed, looks at Morris, looks back at the check. CUT TO: INT. Pizza Hut. NIGHT Gil is on the same phone we saw Roy on earlier. GIL: HOW MUCH? ROY: Iknow, right. On the one hand, I feel the worst Ive ever felt, and have very little desire to go on living, but on the other hand, I feel like Ive won the lottery. GIL: Listen, Shirley Jackson, dont start with that no desire to go on living CRAP, ok? ROY: CMon, Gil, these next few weeks are gonna be horrible! Every creep imaginable is going to pop out of the woodwork, trying to get money out of me, not to mention my relatives. I HATE my relatives. The only reason I even talked to them at all is because my mom felt I should have some sense of some kind of extended family, but these people are like...I dont know, ALBATROSS. ....-ES......Whats the plural of albatross? GIL: Albatross, I think. ROY: Albatross, and theyre gonna be ALL OVER the next few weeks, with this...THIS and Christmas, too! It was so sudden!, Im so sorry!...etc. I really cant be bothered. Im going to end it all right now. (Looks around room) What does one kill oneself with....normally? I dont have a gun or any pills, hell, I dont even think I have scissors. Oh well. GIL: Look, you. Dont look at this as a BURDEN, man...Look at the other side of it. Youve just been handed a check for more money than you probably would have made on the rest of your life. What is there to hold you back from doing ANYTHING? See the world. Climb the Alps. ROY: I DONT speak any language other than english and I DONT have a passport, so unless I go visit the ancient wonders of Fort Lauderdale or something, I dont think thatll happen. ZNDSET2H8c6*cDSET2H8c6*cDSUM Pete(r)HDNISTYL b JSTYL@h,48DLPd]   S   R   L HASH $. . 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